Denver gymnast Alexis Vasquez overcomes depression to become All-Big 12
DENVER (BVM) — For anyone, moving far away from home in middle school to compete at a high level nearly 24/7 would be difficult. An almost impossible, insurmountable hurdle to clear even. Some never encounter such a challenge, but Vasquez experienced it firsthand.
鈥淚t was very different,鈥� Vasquez said, reflecting on her time at Chow鈥檚 Gymnastics in West Des Moines, Iowa. 鈥淢uch more was expected of you. 鈥� It was very stressful and took quite a bit for me to get used to.鈥�
The elite gymnastics club was a long way away from Vasquez鈥檚 hometown of Pasadena, Calif., and it was certainly a lot different at Chow鈥檚 than it was doing club gymnastics back home. Chow鈥檚 is known for its high-level, intense training, the same training that molded the skills of Olympic gold medalists Shawn Johnson and Gabby Douglas.
In such a competitive environment, Vasquez had one thing on her mind: perfection. Losing the team aspect of the sport was a much different experience for Vasquez than in Pasadena, and it became something that was mentally taxing for the young, aspiring gymnast.
鈥淢y introduction to it was, you鈥檙e competing and fighting for yourself,鈥� Vasquez said. 鈥淵ou can be friendly to other people, but you are the only one that matters. It鈥檚 very self sufficient in that way. … That鈥檚 when I realized, I鈥檓 not sure I enjoyed it as much.鈥�
Nevertheless, Vasquez powered through, quickly rising up the ranks as one of the top young gymnasts in the United States, competing in national meets and eventually being named to the 2014 U.S. Junior National Team.聽
She became an elite beam artist while also excelling in the all-around, on the floor, and on bars, but still struggled with the individuality of her training. While she continued to reach new heights on the mat, her struggles off of it began to intensify.
Vasquez began to suffer from anxiety and depression at a pretty young age while she was in Iowa after being trained to not only perform but to think about gymnastics 鈥渋n a certain way.鈥� She took that mindset from her youth into college at the University of Denver, and her mental health deteriorated.
鈥淎ll of it pretty much stemmed from moving to Iowa and doing elite gymnastics there. Those four years of my life really changed me,鈥� Vasquez said. 鈥淚n that time, I was taught that you鈥檙e working towards perfection and anything less and you鈥檙e basically nothing. You can basically give up if you鈥檙e not the best. With that mindset coming into college, I was like, 鈥業 need to be perfect鈥� not just in the gym, but academically. That caused a lot of stress.鈥�
Add all of that onto the plate of someone who is coming from a life of gymnastics almost 24/7, all the way to a university where a lot is expected of you outside of the gym, and the result is a tax on mental health. Arriving at Denver was a 鈥渃ulture shock,鈥� as Vasquez described it.聽
Not only the responsibility, but the pressure of both school and gymnastics was amplified at one of the top gymnastics schools in not only the Big 12, but the entire country.
鈥淢entally, I was really killing myself. I would be in the training room before practice just studying, the whole time,鈥� Vasquez remembers of her freshman year at DU. 鈥淚 never put my computer down, and it was really taking a toll on me emotionally, obviously but physically too. There鈥檚 only so long you can do that before your body breaks down. I was getting sick, I was in this really anxious, aggressive state.鈥�
It was a lot for Vasquez to overcome, especially while still maintaining her grades and her athletic performance. She began to open up about her mental health — to her mom, to a therapist, and to her teammates.
Slowly but surely, her mindset began to change. What once would have been viewed as a failure because it was not perfect, Vasquez became proud of. A 9.950 instead of a perfect 10 became OK. A 鈥楤鈥� on a paper was no longer something to beat herself up about.聽
But taking that pressure off of herself didn鈥檛 just make it easier on herself personally. She grew closer to her team, and she elevated her performance in the gym as well. In 2020, she scored two perfect 10 scores on the beam and was named All-Big 12. The following year, her final one as a collegiate gymnast, she repeated as All-Big 12 and was also named a WGCA Second Team All-American beam artist.聽
鈥淚t鈥檚 crazy because when I was a freshman in college, back then I was like, 鈥業 can鈥檛 do it, never gonna happen,鈥欌�� Vasquez said. 鈥淚 feel great about it. There鈥檚 always a part of me that thinks 鈥榦h, you could鈥檝e done this or that,鈥� but then I remind myself that I did everything I could. So when I get these awards nowadays, instead of feeling guilty I feel proud of myself. I don鈥檛 look at it as 鈥榯hey gave me this award,鈥� I look at it as, 鈥業 earned this award.鈥欌��
Vasquez is now retired from gymnastics, and is now helping others like her with the Sports Health Institute, which helps educate student-athletes on mental health, and helps them after they are done with their sport.
鈥淚t was time for me to retire,鈥� Vasquez said. 鈥淗aving this time this summer to be a normal person and not an athlete鈥� It鈥檚 exciting. I don鈥檛 have that gymnastics excitement, but I still have this new excitement that will last my whole life.鈥�
